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Venue: Lopburi, Narai Hills Golf Resort. AGM ride
Hares: Joris and Lerm.
Date: 20/21 November 2010.
Scribe: Passing Gas.
They came in search of Paradise and found…………………………Naraihills Golf Resort!! A stunning establishment set in the hills of Lopburi with the choice of either a hotel room or, for the lucky ones who booked early, an individual Villa! With the showers in the hotel rooms being without doubt, the best in Thailand!! The Hares, Joris & Lerm, had ‘done good’ finding this gem of a Resort for our ultimate weekend of the year, the Bangkok Bike Hash AGM ride!!
“Dry and dusty” sums up the start of the ride heading out of the Resort and into the nearby hills. Our Hares, being old seasoned Hashers of the dried leathery-skinned variety, knew how to lay a trail to entertain and test to the full the skills of all Hashers. So high was their Hashing trail technique that the first check completely out-foxed every one of the following Hashers to such an extent even Weed-eater’s pea-brain seriously threatened to burn up on over-load! A quick phone call eventually got the train rolling again with some struggling to straddle the barbed wire across the trail!
Despite the ground being scorched dry we gingerly made our way past deep, foreboding looking mud-pools eagerly awaiting to suck in any wayward Hasher to their doom, before heading into the forestry trails. Being cattle country means one thing……..thorns! Take note when a ride is set in such countryside do not, repeat after me, do not shod your bike with Furious-Fred tires. You hear me “Val-of-9-flats-in-one-afternoon-ride” fame??
True to form, the Hares laid a trail progressing from just a ‘trail’ into the realms of an ‘adventure’, with interesting, technical sections of rocks and sand, forestry tracks and crossing fords with, as always, Hashers willingly assisting other riders over the steep ford or crossing barbed wire obstacles.
Although there were no severe up-hills to climb, the ride was a long and arduous with the heat taking its’ toll on many riders. In the later stages of the 48 km ride we came across a fork in the trail with a sign reading, “Adventure (right) or No Thanks (left)” Which trail did you take, ‘Giant-man’?? Many taking the shorter route home so as not to miss the festivities to follow during the evening AGM! Or so was their feeble excuse!!
Scrotum Dave made his last Circle in the Resort’s purpose built arena a special occasion, going out on a high note of merriment and laughter ably supported by the ever-reliable RAs! With Flemish Floozie living up to her name with a little provocative dance into the Circle (see the photos!). Carried along by the fun atmosphere of the Circle there were a number of naming ceremonies with the recipients being suitably christened with apt and justified names!
As the shadows lengthened and darkness descended on the countryside, the evening brought a splendid occasion to mark the end of the Hashing year. Fitting tribute to all the Hares throughout the year was made by Klingon in his usual tongue-in-cheek style of humour with some great trick and single-track biking videos. I’m sure that was me doing the backward flip!! Not!!!
Eamonn Andrews & Michael Aspel would have been proud of Weed-eater’s cool & witty presentation of ‘This is Your Life’ for Scrotum Dave’s year as Grand Spoke. “The Grand Spoke is dead, long live the Grand Spoke!!”. As the old, worn out committee members bid their farewell to rapturous applause from the crowd of appreciative Hashers, the new committee members made their way apprehensively to the stage to assume their new roles. Great expectation was in the air as the tension grew for the final appointment, Grand Spoke! Who would lead this motley crew through 2011? A loud roar of applause as Chris ‘Sack of Shit’ Oglesby was announced as Grand Spoke! Well done, matey!
The Sunday ride was a gentle affair………not! With many hangovers to accompany the riders out onto the dusty trails we were looking for a sedate ride, not to be! The Hares had different ideas! The first 5 kms was some of the most technically difficult trails attempted by many! Rocks and sand, what a mixture! Whose masochistic idea was it to lay the trail down a boulder strewn decent with a Dutchman & Weedeater eagerly encouraging those attempting to ride all the way down only to find a sign at the bottom reading, “U-turn”!! Must be German!
The other story of note was seeing Pencil Flash shakily negotiate his way around a large, dark mud hole only to be surprised as a buffalo rises from its’ mud pool and runs away in fear. The most difficult think was trying to decide who was most frightened, the buffalo or Pencil Flash as he cried out in an uncharacteristically squeaky voice, “holy shit, it’s a f……..g Swam Monster!”
And so the end came to a great weekend and a fitting tribute for an AGM Bangkok Hash ride, well done you Hares, great job!
Passing Gas